Thursday, October 9, 2014
7 Ways to Soothe your Shyness
7 Ways to Soothe your Shyness
Shy people instinctively know that they are missing out. Shyness equals lost opportunities, less pleasure and fewer social connections. Shyness can be crippling but there are tried and tested ways to make it a thing of the past.
When I was fifteen I was shy. I recall an attractive girl attempting to engage me in conversation. My shyness made me focus on me instead of her. I heard my own voice but not hers and I thought about what I was trying to say instead of what she was trying to say.
The formula for shyness is "too much focus on the self" plus anxiety. To make it even more unpleasant, sometimes when you are feeling shy you experience physical sensations which 'hijack' your calm logical self.
My pulse raced, my mouth dried up and I felt like the village idiot! I couldn't think what to say so I said nothing apart from making barely audible grunting noises! Cary Grant eat your heart out! When I detected pity in her eyes (or was it contempt, or boredom) I mumbled my excuse and got out of there. I hated being shy and was determined to change it.
How shyness is developed and maintained
Shyness really is a combination of social anxiety and social conditioning. To overcome shyness you need to learn to relax socially. This enables you to direct your attention away from yourself and gives you the space to practice certain conversational skills. In most cases, the heightened emotions of socializing when young simply condition the sufferer to respond to social events with fear, instead of excitement and pleasure.
Relaxed socializing is so pleasurable, not to say productive, but it is an advantage denied to many until they learn to relax. To start reducing your own shyness, I want you to absorb the following tips and ideas and start to put them into practice:
1) Think about the way you feel and behave around familiar people you are comfortable and spontaneous around. It's that feeling transferred to new people and situations that equates to your emerging social confidence.
2) Focus your attention away from yourself. Sure, you can think a little bit about how you are coming across, but if all your focus is on your own words and feelings then you might as well be by yourself. Notice what other people are wearing and make a mental note, listen to their conversation, imagine where they might live, make a point of remembering names. Not only does this give you more to talk about, it also 'dilutes' social anxiety leaving you feeling calmer.
3) Ask people open questions. Many people like to talk about themselves and will find you interesting if you find them interesting. Ask questions that require more than a 'yes'/'no' response such as 'What do you like about this place?' rather than: 'Do you like this place?' Once they've answered use 'add-on' questions connected to the first such as: 'What other places do you like in this city.?' Next you can express your views. This is a great way to get the conversation going. If the conversation doesn't 'take' then no matter, you've done your bit.
4) Stop trusting your imagination so much! Have you ever had an imaginary picture in your mind of a holiday destination only to arrive and find the reality is different from the way you had imagined? That's how reliable imagination is. Stop imagining what others think. I do lots of public speaking and I've long since stopped trying to second guess what others think of me - it's just too painful. Besides, what a person thinks about you has a lot more to do with who they are than who you are.
5) Stop using 'all or nothing' thinking. The 'completely this/completely that' style of thought occurs when you are emotional. People who are depressed, angry or anxious see reality in terms of differing extremes, simplistic all or nothing terms. An angry person is 'right' and you are 'wrong'; the depressed person feels like a 'failure' while others are a 'success'. In reality, life is composed of infinite gray areas. So stop fearing that you might say the 'wrong' thing! Or that people will 'hate' you. Once you start to relax more socially you'll notice much less black or white thinking because anxiety actually causes you to think in all or nothing terms.
6) Take your time. You don't have to blurt things out. Ask questions and if questions are asked of you can take time to consider your response (within reason). Don't just blurt out what you think might be the 'right' answer. A slow answer is a relaxed answer.
7) Finally, use hypnotic rehearsal. Hypnosis is the quickest way to change your instinctive/emotional response to any situation. Only think about meeting others when your mind and body is relaxed. This conditions you to associate relaxation with being around new people. In fact you'll find that when you relax deeply enough often enough whilst hypnotically rehearsing being comfortable around others you'll reach the point where you just can't be shy any more! This is what I call a 'happy inability!'
I now love meeting new people and suspect that my current social confidence would be unrecognizable to my fifteen year old self.
Overcome shyness now at HypnosisDownloads.com
Article by Mark Tyrrell of Hypnosis Downloads.com.
Improve your self confidence in 15 minutes
Improve your self confidence in 15 minutes
I used to be frighteningly under confident in social situations. And although people who know me now would never believe I used to doubt myself so much I literally had to learn confidence until it became a natural part of me. I can tell you relaxed optimistic confidence is just, well so much more fun.
Here I'll tell you about the things that made the most difference to my confidence levels...
Some people have naturally high levels of confidence but everybody can learn to be more confident
Firstly, it's important to get a clear idea of what self confidence really means, otherwise you won't know when you've got it! So, self confidence means:
1) Being calm. For every situation in life you need to run on the appropriate level of emotion. Too much emotional 'leakage' into a experience can spoil the experience. You make great strides towards confidence when you begin to relax in a greater range of situations.
2) Being cool. The second part of self confidence is about being able to relax with uncertainty. To be 'cool' in a situation really means relaxing with not knowing how things will pan out. If you truly tolerate uncertainty, you can do pretty much anything.
3) Not being too concerned with what others think of you. You know when you imagine what some place is going to be like before you go there but when you get there it is totally different to your imagination? That's how reliable your imagination is! Stop trusting your imagination so much. I've long since stopped bothering to imagine what others think of me because so often I've turned out to be wrong.
4) Being specific - where do you want confidence? 'Confidence' is meaningless until you tie it to something specific. You are already confident that you can read these words or can switch a light on and off. So you don't need more confidence everywhere. To get what you want in life you have to establish exactly what you do want. Where do you want confidence in your life? Think about the specific situations now and write them down. You beginning to steer your brain towards confidence.
5) Understanding that what you expect is what you get. Your brain is an organ that needs clear goals to work towards. When a task has been set in your brain it will do everything it can do to bring about the completion of that task. If you've tried to recall someone's name but can't, hours later you'll often find their name pops into your head.
The 'trying to recall' experience set the task or blueprint for your brain's future subconscious behaviour which eventually produced the name for you - when you weren't thinking about it consciously. You can use this natural mechanism to start feeling more confident. But, to ensure you set the right task for your subconscious mind, the next point is vital.
6) Don't task your mind with negatives. Instead of: 'I don't want to screw up' (which sets the task of 'screwing up' for your brain), set the blueprint for what you do want! Your brain doesn't work towards what to do by being told what not to do. And nature has given you a wonderful natural tool to set the right task blueprints with.
7) Use nature's goal-setter: Now you understand how vital it is to set the right task for you brain, you need to know how to do this reliably. Good hypnosis will strongly 'program' the right blueprint in your mind through the use of your imagination. If you powerfully imagine feeling confident and relaxed while in a relaxed hypnotic state it will be hard for your unconscious mind to do anything else. The blueprint for relaxation has been set firmly into your subconscious mind.
3 simple strategies to get you feeling confident quickly:
1) Think specifically of the time/place/situation you want to feel confident in. Remember 'confidence' doesn't mean anything until you attach it to something specific.
2) Focus on words in your mind right now that describe how you do want to be in that time and place. Maybe words such as 'calm', 'relaxed' or 'focused'. Remember your brain works on clear positive instructions.
3) Close your eyes for as long as you like and think about how those words feel. Then, imagine the situation itself and rehearse it in your mind feeling confident and relaxed. This way you set the right blueprint or 'task' for your unconscious mind.
You can repeat this often to make it more effective and use it with as many areas of your life as you need to. If you listen to a hypnotic cd or download that can make the benefits even more powerful (see my profile below). So if you feel like you'd be blessed with less confidence than some other people you can start redressing the balance by using your mind in the right way right now.
It took me years to learn how to be more confident - now you can do it in a fraction of the time. Good luck!
Boost your confidence now at HypnosisDownloads.com
Article by Mark Tyrrell of Hypnosis Downloads.com.
How to hypnotize your audience
How to hypnotize your audience
5 hypnotic techniques to enrapture your listeners
The first thing any good hypnosis trainer will tell you is that to be an effective hypnotist, you need to be confident. That way you inspire confidence in your subject and they are free to relax with you.
The same is true if you want to hypnotize your audience when presenting. First, you need to inspire confidence in them, and to do that you need to be free of anxiety.
And when I talk about hypnotizing your audience, please forget the clichés of watch swinging, cluck-like-a-chicken merchants. I'm talking about the hypnosis of life.
Help your audience leave the room
When you hypnotize someone you get them to "leave the room" as they "travel" along your narrative within their mind.
You achieve this by focusing their attention so intently that your words start to have a real effect on their experience - both conscious and unconscious. A skilled hypnotist can help you change the workings of your immune system or blood flow with their words. Think what effect you could have on an audience you are looking to influence.
So why do I talk about "hypnosis" when describing the effect a great presenter has?
Hypnosis and the art of presenting
Hypnosis involves:
- Narrowed Focus
- Disassociation
- Learning
Any presenter will agree that you want to be compelling enough to focus your audience on what you are saying. You want them disassociated from their environment and concerns so that they travel with you to other times, places and possibilities. And you want them to adopt, at least for a while, new ways of seeing reality.
Hypnosis in therapy is so powerful because it helps people learn new ways of responding to life so that low confidence, phobias or addictions no longer trip them up. When you present powerfully you focus your audience's attention so narrowly that the nature of their learning becomes hypnotic rather than merely conscious. This kind of learning feels a lot more profound for people. But there are different kinds of audience trances..
Avoiding the boredom trance
If you are uninspiring then your audience may certainly psychologically "leave the room" not by following your ideas but as an attempt to escape your talk. They might start to imagine what they'll do later, what they'll cook for dinner, or their upcoming social arrangements. They are disassociated but not in the way we want them to be. There are specific techniques to compel your audiences in just the right way.
Crowd hypnosis
The greatest public presenters will captivate audiences with their words and gestures. They'll use expectation, language, story-telling and "future pacing" which means they'll implant ideas for their listeners to act upon in future. This is all hypnotic. Hypnotic speakers don't just give the facts they will give their listeners an experience that will change the way they feel, think or behave. Hypnotic presenting appeals to the part of the mind that the greatest pieces of poetry or music do. In fact truly world beating public talks have a real rhythm.
The poetry of presenting
The best speeches like the best hypnotic inductions have a kind of trance rhyme to them which draws you in and makes you forget anything other than the speech. Listen to Sir Winston Churchill on YouTube
He uses repetition, emotive words, he paints a picture of a positive future beyond current hard times but he doesn't lie to his listeners by pretending things are going to be easy. He connects what is important to his listeners, he evokes strong images. And like the language of storytelling or even epic myth he talks about avoiding an oncoming "Dark age" by fierce, proud, brave and collective struggle.
In some of Churchill's speeches his language is almost confusing which is a favourite hypnotic technique too as it"ties up the conscious mind" and appeals more directly to the unconscious which absorbs it often before the conscious mind has untangled it : "Never was so much owed by so many to so few." He says when talking about the heavily outnumbered RAF men who fought the famous Battle of Britain. We know what he means without following the logical thread of the statement.
If you want to be more hypnotic to captivate the attention of your audience then you might like to put these following tips into action (which are expanded in the new 10 steps to powerful public speaking course)
- Pepper your speech with words that appeal to feelings.
Words that people have to "go inwards" to connect their personal meaning with are called nominalisations and they are hypnotic. These are words like: "Powerful, beautiful, love, wisdom, strength"...and so on. Make sure these kinds of words fit with what you are saying but they will produce more of a response than more "concrete" type words. - Paint pictures in your listeners' minds by overlapping their senses.
When we hypnotize someone we are seeking to give them a dream-like experience. And of course we dream in pictures, but also sounds, sensations, tastes, and emotions. If you are telling a story in your speech about something that happened to you tell them what you saw, felt, heard, tasted and so forth. This makes it so much more evocative. "I went to the mall and saw a fight" doesn't draw you as much as: "I was heaving a heavy shopping bag through the mall when I heard a sickening scream, I turned and saw two huge guys trying to mug an old lady who karate kicked them to kingdom come - you could almost smell their fear...!" Be descriptive. Which reminds me... - Tell stories. Even if you are delivering a speech about molecular biology there are stories to be told - tell them engrossingly.
- Use your voice to fascinate. Sometimes speed up and sometimes slow...down... a bit. Not all the time or else you will annoy but think about the importance and relevance of your words. When it's a point you feel is important, slow down a bit and occasionally you can even talk the calm, slow delivery of a real hypnotist.
- Use unexpectedness. We go into hypnotic trance when we relax but also when we are startled, surprised or even shocked. Great speakers use humor because it can be hypnotic. Humor surprises you - a punch line has a "punch" because it causes surprise. Hypnotists (especially of the stage show variety) will often use "shock "to fast track subjects into hypnotic trance, so be a little surprising here and there to keep your audience focused, then refocused. This technique when presenting is startlingly powerful.
In the end, it's all about the emotion
Study the effect communication has on people. Just the bits of sound we call "words." It can make them angry, weep, be prepared to go into battle and change their life infinitely for the better. Words don't have to be "just words." Hypnotise your audience to help them feel something real when you speak.
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Hypnosis and NLP Certification Course Online
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Thursday, October 2, 2014
What is Reiki Healing?
Reiki Healing
Reiki means " universal life force energy". Rei means universal, boundless, limitless nature of the energy, and refers to spiritual energy. Ki means the vital life force, which flows through all that is. Reiki is a healing energy which is available all around us. Reiki practitioner acts as a medium through whom this energy is channelized and then passed on to the client through hands. It's a subtle energy which heals on mental, physical and spiritual level of an individual.
Reiki healing is a gentle and safe healing practice that is geared towards removing any energy blocks in our system caused by emotional, mental or physical stress and pain. During a Reiki healing Session a practitioner places his or her hands on the client with the intention of the Reiki Energy to flow. This Reiki healing energy, also known as the Universal Life Force Energy, is not the practitioner's energy. It is a divinely guided energy that knows exactly where the blocks are and pushes them out as well as fills up the energy gas tanks wherever you are low in energy. During a session a person may feel heat, tingling or cooling sensations as blocks are removed. Most all clients get to a deep state of peace and relaxation during a session.
Reiki Benefits
Reiki healing can help to greatly reduce alleviate chronic pain and stress which is a leading cause of disease and illnesses. Reiki can also help provide guidance and clarity into why the illness developed in the first place. In addition, the American Cancer Society states that Reiki can help alleviate the side effects of cancer patients undergoing cancer treatments. Reiki can help relieve addictions and ease the physical withdrawals felt from chemical dependencies. There are also studies underway to test the affect of Reiki on autism patients and other similar disorders.Reiki Helps to Achieve Complete Wellness
More and more people are seeking complementary, alternative healing methods to achieve complete wellness. Some medical practices only treat the symptoms and never fully address the initial cause of the problem or fail to look beyond the physical to address the mental or emotional state of the patient. Reiki can help you achieve complete wellness by addressing the physical, mental and emotional issues that can be holding you back from achieving perfect health of mind, body and spirit.
Reiki Sessions
During a Reiki healing session, the client lies down or is seated fully clothed. The practitioner next places her hands on or above the body and allow the REIKI to radiate from the hands.
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